Interview! A forty something explores dating after a break and has their approach to it changed since they were in their twenties or even thirties!
Q) What was dating like when you were in your twenties and early thirties?
A) Dating in my twenties and early thirties was quite loose… i know from my friends and our discussions of what we were looking for in partners that many people of our age group were deeply influenced by pop culture and were also experiencing many issues at home with their parents due to substantial changes within the workplace (we did not realise that at the time) which along with the prevailing social attitudes of the time were leading to a culture of relationships which were no longer permanent, and that life was very much about having fun. Because of our traditional conservative upbringing myself and my close friends were frankly horrified by many of the attitudes that prevailed and we took steps to actively find people to date with who actually had traditional values. So i’m talking about valuing hard work. Honesty, and straight forward thinking, remaining true to the ideals of perfection in all aspects of life (which is quite easily found through a dating site that specifically caters for these tastes by the way). At the time were also exploring philosophy and so both innately and theoretically understood that perfection is not really possible but nevertheless having ideals and goals that maintained the good and right ways to act was very much better than an anything goes attitude. Fortunately this approach to things has remained true for myself and most of my friends to this day. After many many years of thinking and experience and dealing with life and the challenges it posses as well as the beauty of life and the cycles of family life i can safely say that so far (and i am still very much open to new ideas such as sites for older-dating.com).. so far this understanding has not only remained true but has been proven to me and my closest friends to be even truer for us. This approach affects my dating. I simply will not spend time with people who have not developed a psychological understanding of the simple principles of cooperation and collaboration and how families can work together to survive the problems of life and to enjoy and treasure the simple beauty of families, simply living their lives… so cooking, understanding nature and the seasons and so growing vegetables, making fruit preserves, celebrating the high festivals, giving thanks for what we have… being at peace with ourselves and others… and working and remaining active and social.
Q) Are their any differences in the type of date you are looking for now compared to then?
A) For the reasons i have outlined the type of person i am looking for remains the same, they must be at peace generally with themselves, they must be using reason within their lives, they must be breaking problems into small portions and working through them logically, they must be aware of the importance of resources and at times thriftiness… enjoying the simple pleasures in life and also luxury.
Q) Has your ideal date location/event etc changed in that time?
A) Perhaps a little over the years… I’m interested in making dates special especially as the relationship progresses but also given the tremendous business of my life and often those i date just finding time to relax and go on holidays and enjoy good cuisine and being able to relax and be ourselves in the knowledge that we have shared values and can stop at times to give thanks here and there but generally just attempting to keep up with everything that is happening so very often this will be getting to the latest classical concert or a favourite restaurant or even exploring new places!
Q) Ultimately what are your goals… are they different now?
A) My goals remain the same.. i am fully aware again after many years of thinking through these concepts that we are social animals, while romance is not necessary some level of human companionship is actually very enriching to our lives and first foremost my goals are to have personal health and wellness and part of this is connected to healthy relationships and so dating someone who i do get along with is really the ultimate goal.
Q) How do you find dates today… has that changed?
A) Actually this has changed quite a bit! When is was first dating, i mean it was meeting people through church groups and so on which is still the best way to meet people but without a doubt i really have found online dating to be just super! Through my faith i have found several sites who do provide a wonderful service for people who do have values. So internet dating is very much on the agenda and a tremendous positive change!
Thank you so much!
Very Best wishes!
The Curator
