With so much choice today in the world of dating sites do we need to have a strategy when using dating websites, or can we just be ourselves?
This question is really asking the best approach to online dating? Spontaneous or scientific!
Its a wider subject area than that but if you verbalise or strategize about whether you should be scientific or spontaneous then you really have to start by defining what each of these words mean! We think scientific can be two and /or positions! The first is that you have a goal, you identify all the potentials who fit into your desired dating partner, then surf through all the profiles on the sites you have joined, message everyone of them that do fit the target best, then take meticulous notes and whittle the list down through those who reject you, those who message and those who you progress with and then your dating (we love dates)! If your looking for monogamy then you keep going to one person, then have a monogamous relationship with them, or if you prefer or want polygamy then several or more may be people you will have long or short term relationships with.
Two, is scientific believe it or not in a psychological way! What we mean by this is that the overwhelming consensus by psychologists is that the Big Five Personality Theory is the best model to categorize people. This consensus by psychologists covers psychologists with a tremendously diverse background across politics for example and has proved remarkably stable! So! The big five personalities such as Openness, Conscientiousness, Agreeableness, Extraversion & Neuroticism are tremendously predictive categories and people of course have varying degrees of all of the types, however people will demonstrate a category or two that are dominant within them and from this all manner of tests have been conducted on how different types interact, so that it is reasonable to suggest that when looking for love, romance, life partner ( s ) etc, then looking for people who broadly fall into similar personality categories to yourself or to people who you know you get on with (for example a Agreeable Open person), means you can pursue contact with people that you will have a higher percentage of getting along with!
(Bonus Info! >> We have also heard of lots and lots of sites offering dating based on race such as Chinese Dating or black dating so there really is so much choice online!)
The Scientific approach is so appealing! Just think about it for a moment, it offers “the Solution” and perhaps the reason why things do also go wrong!
Alternatively the spontaneous approach is so so appealing, particularly to in-experienced people who do not use rationality! Essentially its all over the place, just going on your gut feeling and making decisions on the spur of the moment without thinking about it! For example, a date might say after the second date “Lets Get Married” and tremendously spontaneous people will say “Yes lets do it” and the idea is that the happy couple will live happily ever after! Its all about spontaneity! Often these types are also empathic and just can tell people who are good or bad within seconds of meeting them! Its a fascinating area and well worth exploring!
So! Having thought this through, our conclusion is that over thinking things is probably not a good idea, but not thinking things through at all is really probably not a good idea either, mostly!
Whatever you do, Its best to enjoy yourself, take precautions, give some thought to security and then have a good time, and you can have the time of your life through online dating and the science v spontaneity debate can be such fun to talk about!